My Stupid Jokes

Q: What happens when you mix an elephant with a kangaroo?

A: Big holes all over Austrailia.

Two guys walk into a bar. Well, that was stupid because the first guy would have seen it….

Rufus went to the store and bought a box of mothballs; the following day, he came back and bought a dozen more boxes. “Say,” said the clerk, “didn’t you just buy a box yesterday?” “I did,” said Rufus, “but dang, those moths fly so fast there’re hard to hit!”

Q: What’s the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield?

A: Its rear.

Part 1

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Tell her to go into a round room and pee in a corner.

Part 2

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?

A: She tells you she did.

Q: What falls faster, a rock or a blonde?

A: A rock because a blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted

Tired of hearing how he was the greatest shot in the state, Frank bet Oscar that if they went in the woods, he could find an animal he couldn’t hit. Oscar’s ego was such that he accepted the bet willingly, and the next morning the two men went tramping through the woods.

Suddenly Frank spotted a squirrel at the top of a distant tree. The towering oak had to be a thousand yards away… beyond the range of his companion’s shotgun. “There,” he said, “Hit that squirrel.”

Taking aim, Oscar fired; an instant later the squirrel scurried down the tree.

Frank beamed, “Well ole pal, looks like you lose.”

“Lose?” Oscar declared. “You just witnessed a miracle.”

“What miracle is that?”

“A squirrel running with it’s heart shot out.”

Did you hear about the hockey team that drowned during spring training?

Bush, and two rich guys were flying in a plane with over a million dollars inside.

Bush opened the door of the plane and threw 100 one dollar bills out of the plane.

“I just made 100 people happy!” Bush said.

The first rich guy throws a million one dollar bills out of the plane and says, “I just make a million people happy!”

The second rich guy grabbed Bush and threw him out of the plane.

“I just made the world happy!” said the second guy.